Made Me Laugh Out Loud

I picked up KRAD’s A Singular Destiny from B&N the other day (along with a few other books, as B&N is a very dangerous place). Yesterday I read one passage that was a list of Starfleet casualties from the most recent Encounter of All Encounters with the Borg (said Encounter happened in David Mack’s Destiny Trilogy, which was an epic awesomely made of mother-fucking win. Seriously, if you haven’t, you should read that shit, even if you aren’t a hardcore fan). No, the casualty list wasn’t the laughing matter, because that would be more than fucked up. Instead, it was a “name” in the list. The name?


I had to double and triple check to make sure I read it correctly (I actually just checked again). Yep, Frak was in fact a Starfleet casualty. Yet realizing how long the list was, Frak wasn’t a frakking laughing matter any more. All those dead people. Frak, indeed.

Quick Review: Halo Wars Demo

Halo Wars Demo
Platform: Xbox 360

I played the demo available on the Xbox Live Marketplace and was underwhelmed and perhaps somewhat whelmed. I liked all the aspects of it (even the controls didn’t suck) except one—the camera. It won’t zoom out far enough so you can see the entire map.

If you’ve played Starcraft, there’s no excuse why they can’t show the whole thing (I mean, you zoom out far enough, you saw all your revealed land and armies and stuff, and the fog of war applied to the rest). It’s a real-time strategy game and it’s hard as shit to really get some good overall strategy when you can’t see everything. (I’m not talking about the fog of war either, that’s a great, long-standing RTS element). They have every reason to emulate one key aspect of one of the most popular RTS games of all-time.

I played through the tutorial and barely started the campaign, hoping (because I’d liked the rest, surprisingly) that you could have a zoom-out-more option once you got out of the tutorial.

I was wrong. You couldn’t. And all I could think about as I tried to play was “I want this motherfucking camera to zoom out more.” Since that was all I could think of, I certainly couldn’t strategize, and stopped playing.

Though I did feel like playing Starcraft.

Not Bloody Mary

Yesterday, I dropped something and broke it while I was in the kitchen. I said, “Bitch. Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch—”

Nathan interrupted from the living room and said, “No matter how many times you say it, your mother isn’t going to appear.”

I’m so proud.

Your Princess is in Another Castle

I have a confession to make.

I have never seen the ending to Super Mario Bros.

…or Super Mario Bros. 2, Super Mario Bros. 3, TMNT, Jurassic Park game for Sega, or any of the Sonic the Hedgehog games.

For a long time, I thought it meant I sucked at video games in general. This inability to beat the early games (invariably, always platformers) gave me a deep-seated fear that I would never finish any video game, ever. Especially not by myself. So when other types of games came out, and I heard the story was really good, I almost didn’t want to play them because I’d never find out the ending.

Because, for me, the Princess is still in another damn castle.

When I actually beat Starcraft, I thought it was a fluke.

Then came Mass Effect, the 3rd person action RPG. I really, really wanted to play it. And I really, really wanted to beat it and finish the story. Why? Because I like stories. A good story, for me, is a huge component of a good game. When I started playing, I nervously set out on a Normal difficulty. When I got to the “surprise” battle on Therum just before going into the prothean mine to save Liara, I died. I died a lot. But I got through it. Then [i]after[/i] saving Liara (something I later came to regret, but that’s another story) with the krogan Battlemaster and a bunch of geth troops, I died. I died several times. And the old fear came back—verily, I did suck at video games. Yet, I kept trying, and eventually got past it. I’m glad I stuck with it.

Because, little did I know that that particular battle with the krogan was one of the most difficult battles in the entire game (if you’re playing a new character and go to Therum first once you get your ship). I went on to beat the game. Then, in a burst of courage, I tried the game on Veteran. I beat it on that difficulty, too. Next came Hardcore. And then I tried Insane. I was shocked, even speechless, when I beat the game at that difficulty. Oh, and ecstatic.

Recently, I stumbled my way onto this video via Twenty-Sided Tale. It makes the case for Prince of Persia being the most innovative game of 2008—but not for obvious reasons.

Turns out, I just suck at platformers, not video games as a whole.


You Were the Chosen Ones

Somehow, I ripped another hole in my favorite pair of pajama bottoms. The legs are too long and they have a habit of creeping under my heels, especially when I stand up. Most of the time, I manage to remember to remove said pajamas from under my heels before I stand up.

This time, I didn’t double-check, stood up, and ripped a new hole in them. Why must they be so uncooperative? Why can’t they behave?

You were supposed to be the Chosen Ones!