This game is going to be the death of me, I swear. I CAN’T GET PAST LEVEL ONE! GAH! Can’t aim right, controls are all wonky and inverted, even if I change it. *mutter* At least Halo I’ve gotten the hang of and Counterstrike I’m pretty good at.

Stupid splinter cell. *stabs it*

Okay, so it looks like I really might do the BYU thing after all. o_O Huge change if I do, sorta scary and world-upending. FUN STUFF! Good boarding there. Mmmm. Boarding.

Right now it’s…2:51 a.m. Took a nap earlier, bad idea. Got whacked by a two by four of a childhood memory (*coughnoidon’thaveptsd*cough*). Finally went to nap and had two hours of those clammy drenching sweat nightmares. Well, at least I’ve figured out what they’re ABOUT.

But what to do?

Dunno.

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I feel centered now. I’m okay with it. Whatever happens with Nathan and his mission, it’ll be okay. This, now, engaged, is where we’re supposed to be. And I’m at peace with the mission. Finally.

And so is he. At peace with us and where we are and with the mission. And through our own prayer and thoughts through the night, we came to the same centeredness.

Cool. )

Yeah, I love him. I’m a big ol’ sap. ;o)

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You know, being away from the Rack certainly frees up a lot of time. ;o)

Anyrate, my sister called me this morning. Final proceedings for Mom and Dad’s divorce are next Thursday and Friday. Finally. Sheesh. Over TWO FREAKING YEARS. Also, our grandparents on Dad’s side are coming up on Tuesday to stay on Great East Lake and support dad. Mmmm. Great East Lake. Hope I can visit.

I’ve realized that Splinter Cell is the exacty opposite of Halo.
Halo: BLAST! BOOM! KILL! BAM!
Splinter Cell: *scootch*….*scootch*…*scootch*…*thwap*…*scootch*.

Patience, grasshopper. Gah, patience sucks ass.

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Good news: I didn’t rupture a tendon, just a really really bad strain. PT said that I got more microtears in the muscle than usual, had delayed onset muscle soreness, and that all caused the swelling. No, I’m not that jacked, that is a SWOLLEN bicep. SWOLLEN. The camping trip is on, says Rena’s livejournal, at the end of this month. Woohoo!

Bad news: EMT class got cancelled. (

More bad news: Ended up being a pigpile on Jamie at hatrack. Sucked. So, yeah, I’m upset and hurt and definitely taking a Hatrack break. Dunno for how long, I’ll get on with my life and see how it all goes. *shrug*

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Wake up. Get ready. Pack. Fly away from Nathan until August. (

On the plane, I end up talking to the woman next to me for an hour and a half. She’s a born-again Christian and we end up talking life and theology. We talk about Nathan and my dilemma with him not being allowed to heal using the gifts of reason given to us for use in the first place, and instead being asked to have blind faith. Dammit, the sabbath is made for man, and not man for the sabbath. We’re SUPPOSED to heal ourselves first.

Anyway. She doesn’t try to convert me, just talks about theological differences. Very cool.

At the end of the second flight, I see my house from the plane.

I miss Nathan.

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