wearing this—

can prevent this—

Remember, kids, when you fence with your non-dominant arm, you have to switch your plastron over to the other arm, too.

This has been a public service announcement.

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There are times in your life when you come to realizations.

You ask yourself, “Self, how much do you miss fencing?”

“Why,” says Self, “I am going batshit crazy, that’s how much I miss it.”

“And Self, how hooked on fencing are you? How far are you willing to go so that you can fence right now?”

“There’s only one thing that can allow me to fence,” replies Self. “And you already know what that is.”

“Insurance won’t pay for shoulder replacement, we’re too young. Besides, that would still take months on months to heal, this current problem shouldn’t take that long.”

“Are you deliberately being dense?” asks Self.

I study my feet intensely and mutter, “No.”

“Allow me to jog your memory. You, of course, know of The Princess Bride..”

I look at Self like she’s got three heads. “Everyone does. Especially every fencer.”

“Ah,” says Self, “then you will understand. You see, I am not left handed.”

“Of course we’re not. We’re right handed. We’ve never ev—oh. Oh.”

“You understand now?”

“I understand, Self.”

“Good. Now please, for the love of the puppies and kittens, make the withdrawal twitching stop.”

The left-handed grips arrived via UPS today.

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“Well, I just finished measuring mine.”

“Then let’s go.”

—Ethan and Bugsy

oh, and the worst ‘your mama’ joke ever:

Nathan. “Anything with a dollar menu is automatically a fast-food restaurant.”
 
Ethan. “So nathan, does that make your mom a fast-food restaurant?”
 
Everyone else: *blink*
 
Ethan. “Okay, I’m sorry. That was really bad.”

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overheard at fencing:

“Bacon and chocolate are how I know God loves us.”

“I’ve got a three foot long needle.”

“Do you need some nuts?”
“No, I’ve got a bag of nuts.”

And a caption for this photo that cannot be posted at the club’s caption this contest:

“I didn’t know you were Jewish!”

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Bwhahahaha! In foil.

He’s so happy, he wants to give everyone a hug! (He’s the fencer on the left)

Anyway, I actually was able to hang around and feel well enough long enough to get some photos at the last tournament. Turned out to be a pretty good set, too. How about that? Here’s the entire set and some highlights of my own:

Check out the S-curve on this blade. Freakin’ sweet.

This shouldn’t even be possible—

You can only fly for so long—

I wonder if this hurt…

We also get flying lessons after intermediate courses.

It’s not football. Really.

I know how he got this touch. Magic.

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