No, I haven’t been tripping. Actually, with my reaction to medications that are supposed to be “fun” I probably wouldn’t react at all.

The dreams.

The past three nights I’ve had nightmares, but not of the typical sort. Usually I can’t remember them–I just wake up in this horrid cold clammy drenching gross sweat with a high heart rate and Really Effing Scared. Not these dreams.

1. Russian Roulette

This one started off the Weirdness. Somehow, I end up back at my exwork. I’m shunned (I’ve informed Sarah that she is a bastard for doing so). I’m told I wasn’t good enough and aren’t good enough. Somehow, I fall asleep (in the dream, folks). I’m woken up 45 minutes later (I know this because I looked at a clock…in the dream) by my exsupervisor who is, rightly, pissed off. I’m berated for screwing up after being given One More Chance and that the director wants to see me downstairs (at my exwork, my exdirector had her office upstairs). I feel not awake and take a few sips of water from a glass that magically happened to be there. As I sip, my exdirector zooms into the room (which was my exoffice with my exstapler). Suddenly we’re in the huge room and there’s a circled audience sitting on the floor. There’s a boombox close to me. My exdirector is continuing the Yelling, that I’m a total screw up, that I couldn’t do any job, that others would never hire me. At the same time, the radio music (Rock the Casbah in case you’re wondering) is being turned up and down to the whim of the audience when they can’t hear the exdirector’s words to me. So exdirector tells me that they have a job where I Will Just Sit and maybe it will improve my concentration. Then I see release forms for this “internship” for my doctors to tell the exdirector just what’s effed up with me. Somehow, the job is sitting at a desk and maintaining a study center…with ping pong tables. Rules are posted: NO playing, NO not playing, NO honesty. In my dream, I now Feel Like Total Shit…then I’m in a corner, playing Russian roulette with a revolver (odd because I only shoot .9mm and have never shot a revolver). The first four shots are clicks (empty for those who don’t know anything about pistols). However, the fifth shot is not empty and goes right into my head. I could feel it moving through my brain and I saw a visual of it tracking diagonally from one side of my head to the other. It didn’t hurt but certainly felt very…odd.

Then I wake up, obviously quite out of whack.

2. Crashes Galore

The following night has a much shorter, less complicated dream (unlike the ADHD dream from the night before). In this one, I’m driving my car and make a lefthand turn. A car comes racing out of nowhere in the lefthand land and T-bones right into my car. BAM! I’m trapped and can’t move and thinking “Wow, my first Real Accident. Cool.”

Then I wake up. I’m disturbed because I have thoughts like this whenever I’m driving. Like, I’ll be going from one stop sign to another by going across a one way cross street and think BAM! a car plowing into me from going the wrong way on the one way. Or pulling out from my driveway. BAM! Or out on the highway, someone stopping suddenly. BAM!

3. Mosquitoes

In this one, I’m attacked by millions of freaking mosquitoes. Millions. Everywhere. They’d bite and bite and dammit, it’d hurt. They were All Over and I was at first wearing just shorts and a tshirt. I was rushing up and down stairs in this random house trying to find clothing that would cover my entire body. I kept finding one piece, putting it on (like finding pants or a sweatshirt) and I’d go looking for a bottom or top and put it on to complete the set and then the one I’d found first would be gone! All while these Millions of Pissed Off Mosquitoes Out For Revenge were biting the hell out of me. There were other people telling me that this was the worst mosquito invasion of all time.

No shit.

I woke up, feeling like stuff was crawling all over me. Ugh.

Categories: distracted