It does.

So I went to get a replacement for my busted up…

Oh, wait. I didn’t tell THAT STORY FIRST.

*ahem*

My Sony Vaio PCG-TR2A decided to commit computercide and leap off my coffee table onto the thinly carpeted floor below. Two feet, right? Straight fall? Of course, I heard *BAM!* and I said “Shit!” and went to rescue the tiny (3 lbs with battery, it’s the size of a hardback book) computer.

Damage assessment: Cracked bottom case. Busted RAM slot (RAM stick okay, moved to open RAM slot), busted PCI slot, busted DVD/CD ROM, busted lock/release mechanism for the battery…but wait, there’s more. I boot it up (it boots! Yeay!)…only for the sound not to work. In fact, the tiny computer (nicknamed Tiny on my network) is pretending it has NO IDEA what a soundcard is. In fact, it’s telling me that “I don’t have a soundcard, you idiot.”

I called it a few choice names in return. None of them were Tiny.

Anyrate, this soundcard is integrated onto the motherboard.

FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, I could’ve done this much damage if I’d drop kicked the damn thing, and at LEAST had the pleasure of dropkicking a computer. Now, this little puppy is under warranty. I call up Sony.

Get some dude in India. Cool–gotta love globalization. Anyway…Sony has three tiers for repair. First tier: minor repairs. Price? $100…I’m sorry, unlucky customer, your computer is not behind Tier Number One.

Tier Number Two: Major repairs/replacements (motherboard, This Means You). Cost of parts and labor. Woooo, Tiny! You are Tier Number Two. Estimate for repairs (JUST for the mobo replacement) $768.73. o_O…I can get another laptop for that. And probably a laptop that won’t bust up from a two foot fall.

Oh yeah. THREE tiers. Tier Number Three encompasses Acts of God.

How cool is that? I suppose I could make the case that my computer’s suicide was an Act of God. But talk about the paperwork…eff that. Thing is, when you REALLY get down to it, ANYthing could be an act of God, right? Right. Moving on.

I spend a couple days bitching. Very happy to have my trusty heavy-ass Gateway (DS Solo 1450 SE) laptop (this is my workhorse desktop replacement. This baby’s got 1G of RAM in it. mmmmmm. listen to it PROCESS, man!) Mind you, I’ve lost count of how many two-foot-drops this thing has suffered. In fact, it suffered the VERY SAME FALL as Tiny within two days of Tiny’s demise.

As you can read, this thing is PERFECTLY FINE. I don’t think there’s even a scratch.

So Tiny is a pretty little paperweight. Gateway is trusty but heavy (8 or 9 lbs, I meant it when I said desktop replacement). As much as I love this ‘puter, it’s getting on my nerves in terms of portability. I mean, compared to a desktop, it’s hugely portable, but compared to Tiny…well…yeah. Outclassed.

So I go searching. I can’t lug the Gateway (well, I could, but I’d be pissy about it) to classes, specially on my bike. Newegg.com has a nice replacement for Tiny. Small, lightweight, good for on the fly few photo processing, internet surfing, DVD viewing, and typing, right? Awesome.

I place the order on Sunday. Pay for overnight shipping and rush the processing time (why would it take 2 business days to put a laptop in a box and ship it? $2.99 and magically it takes them an hour. Whatever). They’re processing stuff on Monday. Cool. Tuesday I get an email.

Address for my credit card could not be verified. Hmmm. I go and check my bank’s site. Charge went through. How odd.

I call up newegg. Get a dude I CANNOT UNDERSTAND. He admits it though, and is perfectly nice. So I think…I don’t get half of what he says. Anyway, I tell him that two digits in my zipcode are transposed, fix those, and we’re good to go.

He says okay.

Two hours later, I get another email with the same “Your address is fucked up and not what the bank says” only in nice terms.

Dammit. I call the bank. Bank says, “Um…it all matches. They’re on crack.”

…okay, they said it all matched and they had no idea what was going wrong. He gives me a special number for newegg to call.

I call back newegg. I get the same dude. Dunno what is name is because I couldn’t UNDERSTAND IT. Argh (no, he’s not from India, he’s from California…oh…it all makes sense now). Anyway, I tell him that while they’ve managed to not screw up the billing address, the ship to zip code is still screwed up.

“Oh, no, it’s fixed, they’re both the same.”

“Oh, okay. Um, I talked to the bank, they said everything matches, they gave me this number for you—.”

“You talked to the bank?”

“Yeah, I just said that.”

“Okay, I’ll make the notation. Have a good day.”

o_O

Okaaaaay.

I go play some KOTOR. Go out for dinner with friends (newegg is on PST, you see). Since my shiny new laptop is being overnighted, I should get it on Wednesday. HA!

I get back. Another email.

“Because fedex could not print your address because of an error, your order has been voided. This error occurred because your shipping zip code was wrong.”

1. I corrected him. He insisted it was correct.
2. Why didn’t they look at the VERIFIED BILLING ADDRESS zip code instead of voiding the entire fucking thing?

I digress. I call up newegg. Get some dude (a different dude, by the way. His name is Brian). Brian says for me to re-place the order, make it as a check payment, and he’d have accounting transfer the funds from the voided order over to the new one.

Sweet. I could still get my computer tomorrow (this is Tuesday).

I do so. I call him back, as he instructed. Except now he’s exceptionally busy (says Ivan, the guy who talks to me now). Ivan seems to have no idea what’s going on, and no idea how to carry on a conversation while typing. Long, boring conversation of *clickclickclick*. Mission accomplished, order all set.

So this morning, I bop onto the ‘net to check the status.

It hadn’t even been packaged yet.

The hell?

Fuck it. I voided the order because new egg SUCKS EGGS. I went to Averatec’s site and ordered this replacement instead (the HW model–more RAM..mmm..RAM).

It’ll be here tomorrow morning before 10:30 AM. I just checked the status–it was packed and shipped hours ago.

This new one better not commit computercide. Maybe I should have the hardy Gateway teach it some lessons on learning how to fall.

After all, my lack of grace is certainly an Act of God, covered under Tier 3 of the warranty.

Categories: reviews